What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
