I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
