I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
