Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
