Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
