apparently the secret to your success is patron
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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