i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
