Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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