this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
