guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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