I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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