this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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