Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
