Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
