I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
