I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
