she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
