he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
