I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
