Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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