apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
