yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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