the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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