i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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