IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
