let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
