i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
