dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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