Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
