I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
