ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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