Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
