yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
