Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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