they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
