How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
