I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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