Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
