Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I want a musical about memes.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
