She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
