there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
