Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
