So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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