Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
