...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize