I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you inspire me to be a worse person
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
