i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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