i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
