he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize