Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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