Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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