She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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