I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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