i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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