They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
