yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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