I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
