Its about making memories worth repressing
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
