Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just tell him i said nine months
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
