I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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