Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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