I wish you could order shots online.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
