Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
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