I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
