I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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