i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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