I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
