Pappa wants mamma naked
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
