somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
