Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
