Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
